My interview with Tom about being a parent

For a long time now we have heard about me, me, me! My journey, my thoughts, my feelings and my experiences. So, I thought I would change things up a little bit and interview my husband Tom.

I’m obviously a little biased but this guy really is the best husband, father and all-round gentleman in the world! I honestly don’t know what I would do without him.

He is an incredibly hands on and natural father and it was really fun doing this interview with him, because how often do you really sit down and ask questions like the below? So, sit back and enjoy my interview with Tom about the early stages of our pregnancy and parenting.

 1. When I told you I was pregnant, what do you remember thinking straight away?

To be honest at the start I was a bit shocked because we had only just recovered from our wedding and we were looking for a new home. So that responsibility felt like it had increased in my mind tenfold. But after a few moments, I was overjoyed with excitement and couldn’t wait to share our news.

2It’s no secret I found my pregnancy challenging. How was the experience for you during those stages?

 Look, it was tough. As a pending father there was nothing I could do at that stage but support and care for you while you went through those 9 months of pregnancy. We had a challenging pregnancy and while others have it harder, you did an amazing job and we were blessed at the other end with a beautiful little girl.

 3. We had a very beautiful birth. What do you remember from it and is there any tips you would give other dads to be?

I remember it being very relaxing. I was able to watch the cricket for five hours and for the first time in a long while you were pain free after receiving your epidural. That was pleasant for everyone… especially you! I mean, you didn’t even care that the cricket was on and you usually kick up a huge fuss about that! I thought to myself… We are starting well here. Very well!

It’s hard for the partner describing the birth because I wasn’t the one physically going through it. I can say though it was an amazing experience. We were surrounded by a great team which really helped and most importantly you did an amazing job. Thankfully it was very smooth sailing.

Tips for other partners: Coffee, encouragement and don’t take anything personally in that room!

4. What do you remember in the first 6 weeks?

Well as you know we didn’t do any pre-birthing or parenting classes but somehow through the support of the professionals at the hospital, family and our natural instinct we seemed to have found our groove pretty quickly as parents. The first week in the hospital was amazing because it felt like we were in our own little bubble. For the next five weeks we were running on a high.  That doesn’t mean that it wasn’t hard at times. Watching you get mastitis a few times and going through feeding issues was really hard to watch and I felt a little helpless at times. I obviously had to go back to work after the first week and I found it really hard leaving you and Belle on the farm, especially when you were finding the feeding so hard at times. Looking back on those six weeks it feels like a dream. 

5The best thing about being a parent?

 It gives you a different perspective of life, shifting your focus onto your child as opposed to yourself in everyday decision-making and life. It goes without saying, the pure joy and happiness you feel every morning and every night when you wake up and go to sleep with you child.

 6. The hardest thing about being a parent?

 The feeling of continually being tired… but that’s nothing to complain about. I would take that for the rest of my days to have what I have. Family has always and will always be the most important thing. 

 7. Everyone always seems to ask about balance. I don’t think we have this right yet? Do you?

Do I have balance right? Nope. But who does?! In my industry I am always striving for perfection and other ways to get better and I think that’s the same with family life. There is always more and there is always less you can do with everything. I think as long as you are aware you may need to make changes every week or every month and be flexible depending on what’s going on. I need to rely on you some weeks more than others, which I know can put extra pressure on you at times and vice versa. We are doing a great job. Just keep swimming! 

8. How do you find the juggle with work, parenting and having time for yourself?

I certainly have less time for myself, like any new parent, but I do think it is really important to still find time for you. The other day I had a training camp on the Gold Coast and went to the movies by myself. It was amazing! I guess it’s using those opportunities as they come and like you and I do every week, sitting down and forward planning our schedules so we know we aren’t overloading ourselves too much. 

9. What do you want to look back and be proud of about being a dad?

It’s a total cliché but to me it’s about not individualising Mothers and Fathers. Parenting is a collective effort and I just want us to be the best parents we can be to Belle and give her what both you and I had growing up which was complete support from our parents and a very stable upbringing.

Written by Emma Hawkins

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